If I didn't know better...

I would say I was loosing my mind. There is this crazy excitement in my spirit that I cannot contain. For the past four months I have been grieving and mourning my divorce. As sick and unbelievably painful that experience was, I have never, not even once, in any tiny winy manner, been afraid, desperate or even anxious about anything. I was hurting, and deeply for that matter, yet thanks to my faith, not once did I ever feel alone.

Yet in my anger I did subconsciously rebel though, I rebelled against everything I hold dear, my faith, my spiritual parents but mostly against myself. I think I subconsciously blamed myself for enduring the abuse for as long as I had. I blamed myself for caring more for other people than I did myself and as a result I shut down and have been on auto pilot mode ever since, until this week!

I am back, the excellent, zealous, careful planner and make things happen Zanele I know myself to be just woke up from her slumber. Mourning period over, no more taking it a day at a time, am taking my life back and am ready to live my best life ever and I'm soo excited its ridiculous, seriously if I didn't know better I would really think something was wrong with me, but to the contrary something is very right with me.....and its about time!!!

Walking through the shadow of death..

Remember the prayer of serenity, Lord help me change the things that I can and help me accept the things I cannot change?

I'm convinced that right there is the recipe to overcome any spiritual hardship or challenge in life. There are things we will never understand why they happen in life.Our nature always looks for answers, for someone to blame, as if blame will change or solve anything. Many times we are very much concerned about winning the battle, when we should be focusing on the entire war.

I have realized that courage is really a difficult thing. When you step out of your comfort zone and confront that which has been holding you captive, fear will haunt you 24/7, and fight hard to confuse you and prove you wrong.It will appeal to your nature, your need to understand everything, the need to be understood, accepted and the need to belong etc. I understand today what the Bible meant by 'commit your plans to the Lord and He will make them succeed', because if He is the foundation for your decision, He will carry you through that shadow of death.

He will give you the strength to accept the things you cannot change. The ability to discern the big difference between winning the battle and winning the war. As you walk through that shadow of death, don't concern yourself about understanding it all, but concern yourself about things that will add value in your life.

Even if you were to receive all the facts and have full understanding of why that tragedy or challenge came into your life, would it change the fact it did? Would it make the pain any lesser? You know what my dear friend, it will not... one thing we have complete control over in this world is our actions and reactions. The sooner we change the things that we need to change and accept the things we cannot change, the better are our chances of winning the war against the evil that's gunning for our souls.

I guess at the shadow of death is where we prove our faith and trust in God, coz if we really trust Him, we surrender and His rod and His staff comforts us, we rest in the confidence that His will and purposes prevail always.

God is eternal

One of the very interesting promises in the Bible and one of my favorites tells us that everything in God's creation will pass away, even the heavens themselves, His Holy dwelling, they have an expiry date attached to them, one which no man can change or delay. However, God's word remains forever. I have been pondering about these words a lot this morning, and I came to the conclusion that as humans we are weak, sometimes unbelievable short sighted and very self centered.

No matter how well we calculate our actions and calculate our words to present or create a certain image that we think we help us get by in this world, we should never loose sight of the fact that God is eternal, and that this world with all its splendor will pass away. What we do today, echoes eternally, who we choose to be today determines if we will spend our days with Him in eternity.

So regardless of what and who we think of ourselves to be, of what we think we deserve in life, the bottom line is if we dropped dead today, next week, next month or years from now, our heart, our own convictions, our sincerity or lack of, is all that we will have.And that is all that will matter. My ultimate conclusion therefore is the joys or pains, the victories or failures, the desirable or the undesirables of this world all have an expiry date, except for a human's soul, and no matter how the rules of engagement change in this world, God's rules in His word remain forever, for God is eternal...period!!!

I met Zanele, and wow is she looking good...

Just as I thought life couldn't be any crueler to me. As if it was not enough that my life as I have known it for 15 years was changing right before my eyes and there was nothing I could do about it, here I am again, this very cold Tuesday afternoon, balling my eyes out because of more hurting words that I heard. I decide to have a conversation with my Father, my soul in such wrenching pain, I'm pouring it out before His throne, it feels as if my heart is going to stop.

And right there I got the idea to write another blog. I came to my page to express myself, and boom...there was me...yes AND THEN THERE WAS ME...I started reading my previous posts, wow my God is really the only God. I was reminded of who I really am, reading post by post, my best friend Zanele ministered to me with such conviction and clarity. It was like a forgotten investment, a deposit made and forgotten, and today I can withdraw, and be rich....and yes I am rich, greater is He that lives in me than the one in this world...so I march ahead in faith and with a big smile....coz nothing, absolutely nothing about me surprises Him!!!

What use is it really to know God?

Truth be told, unless we know who we are, it is absolutely of no use for us to know God….period. Everything that we learn and hear about God is nothing but mere words unless we bring it to life when it is manifested in our lives.

Believers who know who they are do not wait or beg for opportunities. They do not crumble and die under misunderstandings and injustices. They do not plead with the devil to stop interfering with their lives. They do not follow or serve God under compulsion. Most of all they never wait to receive hand outs from no man. They take God at His word and never compromise at all.

We are the key to unlock all our blessings. Our attitude, our actions of faith, our determination, our drive, and our forcefulness is all we need to see and taste that God is indeed good. Unless you really embrace who you are or who you become when you receive and accept the Lord Jesus as your Lord and Savior, it is definitely of no use for you to know God. Simply because God can and will only be manifested to this world through you, other than that He remains a beautiful story.

Right there is the greatest blessing about being born of God. He walks this earth through you, just as He said to Moses I have made you god over Pharaoh, so I dare to say if you are born of God, you are god over your life so start acting one!!!!!!

You've got this, really...trust me.

I think one of the most unfortunate things with us believers is our inability to discern life seasons. We will never be able to reach the fullness of our potential or use our faith to the maximum unless we are able to understand what season we're at.

Granted you believe in God, but how much do you believe in yourself? God is trusting in you to manifest His greatness to the world. Yes to the world, not to each other as Christians or just within the walls of our place of worship. But out there, in our families, our workplaces, yes out there in the world. God is making all these investments in us daily through His word with a high expectation that we must deliver. And most of all He lives in us through His Spirit. Yes He lives in you, you heard me well. He lives in you. Didn't the Lord Jesus say the kingdom of God is within you?

So perhaps you are currently struggling with the challenges as you build your huge life, because as a result of work and business you can't fellowship as you would like to, come on now my dear friend, trust in God's investment in you. Recognize the season, the fact that you used to go to church everyday and now you can only go some days should not be the problem if you are at war to conquer for God's glory. It's a season and it will pass. Apply yourself in faith, God is in you to help you conquer.

The church cannot be our cave where we go to hide all in the name of fellowship. We have been sent to the world to conquer for God. Come to church as much as you can but don't beat yourself up when you couldn't come a day. He is in you and you are busy looking for Him in buildings. Never forget that our enemy is cunning and he will even use your dedication to God to stop or slow you down.

The time is now to see the distinction between those who serve God and those who do not. This world needs a wake up call that the Lord is coming but those who believe in God need to manifest His power in such a way that this world takes notice. So trust me, that will never happen unless we are radical and we really trust and have confidence not just in God but in ourselves as well. It's all a matter of attitude; your spirit and your faith in God. So hear me when I say, you've got this, for real,you can really do it...believe me, He LIVES in you, what could be impossible to you, just trust His investment in you.

A friendly reminder…

Let us never forget that our mere existence in this world is a threat to our number one enemy, who hated the idea that God created us in His image. Because that meant we would be at a position higher than him, when he was used to being the most beautiful of his time. As much as we celebrate that our Lord is risen and are looking forward to conquering more for His Glory, we must never forget that our enemy is crafty. He might be powerless before our Lord but he is very shrewd and unbelievable patient.

He watches every move, listens to every word we utter, and observes every sigh, every re-action, only to create such situations that we find ourselves feeling all vulnerable and confused. And many times he will influence your life to such an extent that you make decisions that you think are for your good when they are nothing but. He made those decisions and just made you believe that you made them, when all you did was to agree with his suggestion.

Every time we need to make any decision, best we consult the best manual of life, the Bible, always remembering that narrow is the way to life and anything that comes easy or makes our sacrifice lighter is fishy, very fishy….

Success is hard work + attitude…

From the very 1st day we arrive here on planet earth we have one purpose that is definite and constant for all of us, that is development. Nature around us teaches us that everything that God created grows, if it doesn’t, something is wrong with it and it will soon wither and die. It may seem though that not all of us are really getting the hang of the concept of success, while some seem to be doing fine, to most of us it seems like an elusive, far fetched luxury.

The thing with real success is, it is not just about hard work alone, but it’s about attitude as well. According to the Oxford Dictionary, attitude is a SETTLED way of thinking and feeling. Sometimes people invest their time and money in acquiring knowledge, in doing all the things right to the tee, and according to the book, yet they find that still with all those good tools, they still not succeed in life, because they lack attitude. Many talk a very good talk, yet walk a completely different and confusing walk.

For an example, you will find tithers who are really faithful and zealous about their tithing, yet they live in utter poverty. Graduates that struggle to secure a good job, let alone climb that corporate ladder. Christians who are full of the Holy Spirit yet are paralysed by bad news, they are completely shattered by injustices and yet if they open their mouths to speak about their faith, it is a completely different story to what is evident in their lives. Some people work really hard in life, they give themselves no rest, even deny themselves necessary pleasures in pursuit of success, yet all that to no avail.

I believe that the right attitude can take you very far in life. It reveals your inner being, your spirit, or your convictions. It is the drive behind how you apply yourself. It is the purity and the honesty of your thinking. The good thing is that it has absolutely nothing to do with the level of your education. It is who you are, nothing but the purity and honesty in your convictions…. and that what’s makes the difference between the dreamers and those who dream and succeed in making them a reality…at least, that’s what I think!!

Another Easter weekend approaches...

Allow me to say something especially to all of us who claim to be Christians as yet another Good Friday approaches. Again we remember that "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son", the reason God did that was to save us from death right? Before we get busy looking for palm branches to begin commemorating the last week of the Lord Jesus on earth, wouldn't it be more profitable if we looked deep inside us and made sure that this is not just another religious celebration but that all the commemorating actually brings change and adds value to our lives.

The Lord died to save us from sin. Why though? When we sin, does He stop being God? Does that tamper in anyway with His Divinity? Obviously not, however sin changes us. It weakens us, draining us of all authority and confidence. It taints our spirit, thus rendering us vulnerable and susceptible to all kinds of evil attacks. Sin becomes like a virus in our spiritual system, weakening our spiritual immune system, our faith. Just as most people die of opportunistic diseases when they have HIV, the same applies in our faith.

When storms and challenges rise in our walk of faith, you find giants of faith fall before what seems to be small situations, all because of the sin in their heart. And what could easily be faced by faith becomes an enormous mountain, because the spirit is tainted and one has no confidence to put up a convincing fight. Sadly, they cannot even convince themselves that God is with them, how then can they convince their challenger.

As we remember the last week of our Lord beginning this Sunday, perhaps we need to analyse our attitude towards sin and take advantage of the grace offered to us through His sacrifice on the cross, because the truth is, it is indeed for freedom that he set us, and we should not let ourselves be bound again by the yoke of sin. Meet you at calvary, my dear friend, where one sign from God will definitely change all our lives!!!!

Generations

If you live in South Africa and you know the popular soapie Generations, you already know how Sibusiso blew a fuse when he found out his son was gay. It’s interesting that the same Sibusiso, was ready to dig dirt on Zachariah, to blackmail him and force him to give his blessing for Senzo to change his surname. What’s wrong with this picture? A crime lord, with a record of all kinds of disturbing crimes is suddenly righteous and disowns the son for being gay?

And worse he is hailed as a real man for doing that. Talk about a classic case of trying to remove dust from your neighbour’s eye when you have a full log in yours. And all this in the week where we are celebrating Human Rights in our country? What’s with the double standards really? Your right to have an opinion should never infringe upon the right of choice of others. I find it even more disturbing when you find people disguising their intolerance, lack of love and total disrespect of others with religion. When they see gay people the talk of shame, disgrace, hell and punishment suddenly becomes a passionate issue.

The same people, however, do not get as passionate about such when they themselves are lying, stealing, abusing drugs and alcohol, robbing, abusing children and women, cheating on their spouses. You find people who are having sex before marriage, fraudsters, murderers, haters, with multiple grudges, whose hearts are smelling of all kinds of deceit and impurities, sneering at gay people and treating them like the scum of the earth. What gives you the right to judge? Because regardless of whether you live by God’s law or just the law of your conscience, or whatever you choose to call it, you have no right to elevate yourself above others as if you are God’s perfect gift to this earth. Simply because your shortcomings are not in everybody’s face does not make them any less.

Perhaps in comparison to you, the gay person you sneering at; never lies, is loyal to his loved ones so much so he would die for them, will never abandon his responsibility, never rapes others let alone rape children, doesn’t hate, would never kill someone for their belongings…in short he lives every waking minute of his life for the betterment of others. And yet you, sitting in your seat of judgement, will never even be half of the human being he is even if you lived a hundred lifetimes.

I wonder what happens when you or your family member need any kind of emergency assistance, when you are trapped in a burning house or car and only the professionals can rescue you, does it still matter if they are gay or straight. What happens when you need a life saving operation, do you even ask if the Dr is gay or straight, does it even matter…would not even want to imagine what happens should you need blood transfusion for whatever reason…lets not even go there…perhaps you have ‘gay blood’ flowing in your veins as you read this….who knows?

Let’s stop trying to make ourselves feel better about ourselves by putting others down. Never forget that there might be two ways of doing things, yours and mine, but God’s way is THE only way. It is constant and never bias…..

Whose will really...yours or His?

Every time we say your will be done and not mine, do we ever stop to really process what we saying? Because many times people say that and yet wait, hoping for things to turn out the way they are playing out in their heads. If we claim to believe in the God of the Bible isn't it high time we trusted Him completely?. We cannot live our lives trying to manipulate Him into revenge, or to do things in our lives just so the others can see He is with us.

The next time you are tempted to say your will and not mine, be prepared that His will might not be the same as what you expect, since He is God Omnipotent, Omniscient and ever present.However His will for our lives is perfect, was recorded in the Bible before we were born. All we need is to trust it wholeheartedly. He is love, holy, pure,and completely perfect. There is nothing evil in Him. He has our best interest at heart...truth is His will and purposes prevail, always...His will and His will alone endures forever!!!!

A thousand identities...

One of the things most of us struggle with is having a defined identity, you know, knowing exactly who you are and what you stand for without wavering. Truth is, in this world not even one of us is perfect and from time to time, we all need guidance, correction, teaching and molding. However for that to happen effectively one needs to know exactly who they are, to make sure they do not run the risk of having a chameleon personality...ending up having such an identity crisis, that out of the thousand identities they are trying to emulate they find that they actually have absolutely no idea which one is who they are.

An unfortunate truth is, in their quest to teach, some people can get it wrong, and can misunderstand a trait in your personality, misunderstanding your drive, read your actions wrongly, all in all assume the worst about you completely. For an example, say you are a front sitter, in every meeting or class you attend you always sit in the front, or perhaps you are always taking the initiative to get things done, whatever the task, you always are in the fore front, always having ideas of how things can be done better and faster.Or perhaps you are a person that has a specific way of dressing, always making the effort to look prim, proper and presentable at all times.

Now to some people this can be read wrong and you can find yourself confronted about it or sidelined for it, all in the name of humbling you. Now what will be a shame, is if you do not have a defined identity, and you start questioning your own motives. In life comes a time when you have to trust your intentions, as long as you know that they are right as far as the Word of God is concerned, that your actions come from a pure place, and you are in complete with peace with God, don't change who you are to be accepted. Stand by your faith, and God will honor it with time.

This has absolutely nothing to do with being stubborn, with refusing to change bad habits, all in the name of THIS IS WHO I AM. All I'm saying is why change what is good in you only to please others, they may not understand you today, but if you stay true to you, one day they will, even if they don't, your tomorrow depends on the seeds you plant today anyway, and never on other people's opinion and assumptions about you.

Why I don't have kids?

Been asked this question too many times, and perhaps its about time I set the record straight regarding this matter....as you read this , please bear in mind that this is why I (Zanele Mofokeng) do not have kids....

I believe children deserve to grow in a stable environment, that allows them to feel secure about who they are always, and where all their needs can be met every waking minute of their lives, which just happens to be the direct opposite of the environment my hubby and I live in or signed up for.

Ok, ok, before you start wondering what in God's wonderful earth am I talking about, allow me to explain. My husband and I are missionaries. Soldiers in a spiritual war. What soldier in his right mind would take a child to a war zone? I do not have a say over my own life. I go wherever the Spirit of the Lord sends me, whenever the need arises. Sometimes I can live in two different countries in a year. Imagine my child having to be the new kid in school all the time, never making any real friends, or never able to spend time with family, neither mine nor hubby's.

I was called to serve God. I made the decision to give my LIFE to God for Him to do with it as He pleases. I personally believe that it would be very unfair to drag a child into my sacrifice. I love kids, love them a lot, sometimes I stare at my cute hubby and wonder how cute our kids would be, yet it is the sacrifice we both decided to make, under no compulsion, but at our own free will.

A very dear friend of mine just had a beautiful baby boy and he sent me his picture. I was joking the other day that I like that picture so much I'm practically stalking it. Thats just how much I really do love kids, but believe me I do not regret the decision of not having any of my own. Every time I see people giving their lives to God through our ministry and growing with Him right before our eyes, I know right there that I have more kids than my tummy could ever carry and for them I'm ready to give my life, anytime.

Two interesting sayings

I think its always very fascinating when I hear someone saying "God knows my heart". It fascinates me because its like we think God knows us the way we know ourselves or even the way we would like Him to know us when in actual fact He knows exactly what is going on in our hearts. The Bible says the heart is deceitful beyond measure which means we cannot trust it. So I guess my point is, God does know your heart, but do you?

Another saying I find equally interesting is when people say" my conscience is clear". The thing about our conscience is that it is invisible to others and most of the time people say its clear when they are trying hard to convince others about their actions. It is a conscience because one cannot manipulate it. It is the inner voice that will telll you truth about your actions and not what you want to hear. And no matter how hard one tries to convince oneself and people around that their conscience is clear, if it is not that won't change, unless you change your actions and motives of doing whatever it is you are doing.

Friends we are living in evil times, and what Mrs Cris said one of these days was so very true...IF WE DO NOT GET BETTER, WE GET WORSE...time for lip and eye service is long gone. Lets get real with our lives.

Thinking out loud..

Isn't it revolting, just how the Gospel of the Lord has become cheap these days? So much is happening around us, designed to choke the true faith that has power to bring about the impossible in our lives. When we allow ourselves to be distracted we will easily loose focus on the only truth, which is the Lord Jesus Christ. The only one who gave His Life to purchase ours...the only one who DEFEATED death. He is not just another religious figure or some wonderful love story to marvel at...HE IS ALIVE TODAY, The God of results, with power to revolutionize the lives of those who call upon Him in FAITH.....in case you were wondering why am madly in love with HIM...now you know...HE IS THE LORD LIKE NO OTHER!

My Good Friday Experience - 2009

Something really special happened for me this past weekend. Besides that it was this really wonderful opportunity to reflect on what the Lord Jesus did for me on the cross, I had a truly amazing realization of why it is always special to heed God's voice and participate in all the movements of faith that God reveals in His Church. As I sat in my chair marvelling at the fact that despite all the attacks, slander and 'suppossed humilation' that the church suffered these past months...here we were with sooo many people gathering to honour the sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ and still trusting that God has the solution to their problems and that,at the very same UCKG that was slandered....right there it hit me...so clear as if God was sitting right there in front of me...the 144 000 chosen.

I was in tears when I remembered everything that God said to us through Bp Sbu in all those months of that movement, all the prepartions we were told we need to do inside of us, purifying our selves before God because something big was about to happen...and hey...months after...here we are...those who heard God's voice and purified their hearts, and learnt the meaning of sacrifice,even though they've been to hell and back...they are still here...and those who took it for granted, who just went with the flow...just repeating the words...doing everything that everybody was doing on the outside but never committed on the inside...we do not even need to say where they are today...

The 144 000 chosen march on and because of them the church of the Lord Jesus marches on and continues to be an example that attracts new people to Christ despite all the slander....how wonderful is our Lord...and right there friends is one of the many reason why I love the Lord Jesus Christ and adore the UCKG for making itself available to God through its committed servants..to teach and guide us always...

To those of us who are members at the UCKG.....what are you doing with all the inspirations and orientations we receive at the UCKG everyday?....Mrs Cristiane Cardoso said to us once..."if you do not react immediately to a message from God, sadly that message has passed you by"....and to my friends who are not.....visit us and believe me...it will be worth your while....

You said it...now back it up!!!

A word of caution, careful of what you say, coz what we say is tested, always!!

Perfect example of this is God Himself. He announced that He was making man at His own image to give him dominion over all the earth. Look how that has turned out. The devil tested that theory to the full and did everything to prove God wrong. And God had to go through the pain of sacrificing His only Son to back His words up.

Every time we make declarations to do something about our lives or we make statements about our faith; what we believe about God or who we believe ourselves to be before God, we better say what we mean and mean what we say. The devil is the biggest believer, he takes you at your word and his interest is to see us fail and fail dismally. He will start creating situations around you to test your words and prove you wrong. Do not be saying how much you believe in a God who moves mountains, to whom nothing is impossible if that is not what you really believe. Because sooner than later mountains will be erected before you and then what?

Are you feeling overwhelmed right now? Do you feel like the walls are closing in on you? And everything you have always believed yourself NOT to be is exactly what you are tempted to manifest? Feel like everything you believe is being questioned?
Check your statements lately...and if you say what you mean all the time...then back it up, don't give in...stand by word...come hell or high waters...stand by word!!!

I DO....

To have a relationship with God is nothing but such a humbling experience. What is man that you should be so mindful of him really? In the past week I've had so many issues that I wanted to blog about. I think my mind works overtime sometimes, and my somewhat very observant nature has a life of its own. However, I sit here at this moment in awe of God, He truly is God, and only Him is really powerful and God enough to perform this miracle in our lives.

My dear friends, the Lord lives and He wants us to live as well. Somebody once said that a servant of God ought to be nothing before their very eyes, simply because the devil cannot do anything to nothing, but God can make something out of nothing. We exist in a very evil world. Our minds can never even begin to conceive how really evil this world is. Only a true and real encounter with God can save us from it.

The catch is we have a choice, we have free will. So we need to want this, period. Inside of us there is a potential for greatness. Inside every human being there is a possibility to go to both extremes. If we do not die to ourselves, our nature will take us to places we never imagined existed...ask satan, he will testify to that...but if we die to ourselves and receive the nature of God...the KINGDOM of God will be within us.

As I wake up today, I am confronted by the fact that I love God. I love Him so much my heart is literally shaking within me. I have always said if there is anything I know for sure is that I love God, but it has never hit me as it does right now, at this very moment. He is all I live for, and who He is, is who I want to be. I'm definitely a work progress, but He will complete the work He began in my life, because He lives, me too I live.

Right now, at this very moment, nothing and no-one matters, not even me, my dreams or worse; my desires, but HIM

Your life a few years from now...

What would you say if I told you that you can know for sure where you will be or what your life will be like 2 or 3 yrs from now? You would laugh maybe, and call my bluff right?

However, I can almost guarantee you that there are things you are doing at this very moment that will tell you what your life will be like in a few years time. On the top of the list being your reaction to the inevitable adverse circumstances that confronts us every day.

Resilience to adversity, setbacks and daily disappointments is the exact measure of our faith. Be it faith in God or faith in ourselves. The true measure of our faith is how able are we to bounce back. It has been said that the issue is not how far you fall but how high you bounce. Truth is, circumstances do not make a man but only reveal him to himself. My point then is; if you can really scrutinise your ability to bounce back after any bad experience, you will know your life expectancy.

Still calling my bluff?...didn’t think so….

And what does that say about you?

People are constantly moaning about how true love does not exist in the world anymore, how impossible it is to have true friends nowadays or to even trust anyone. People are living these isolated lives in fear that if they open out to others, they will be vulnerable, that people will use what they say to them against them or will even gossip about them.

My question to you then is...when people open up to you; do you gossip about them? Do you go around spreading what people tell you in confidence? When you claim to love someone, should they believe you or you're just playing them as well, considering by your confession 'true love' does not exist in this world? So what gives us the right to make such generalized statements and deprive others of much needed relationships that would help then grow and develop in life?

I find that extremely arrogant. It's like the person is claiming to be the only remaining pure creature in this world, surrounded by these two timing, two faced lost cases all around. But like really now. To have good friends, one needs to be a good friend, period...you give to receive. I have good friends,that I even consider my family. And I never have to worry about them washing my laundry in public and them vice versa. Our love for each other is the extension of the love we have for God. We have mutual respect that stems from the people we are before God. As far as my love life is concerned, well, I've been married for 14yrs so you make your own conclusion.

So the more you choose to judge others continuously without even giving them an opportunity to prove themselves, what does that really say about you?..bottom line, we receive what we give...period!!!

What's the quality of your life?

Many times I hear that all those baptized in the Holy Spirit speak in tongues and yet not all who speak in tongues are baptized with the Holy Spirit. Interesting observation indeed, and it's just as true when we look at the concept of being 'blessed'. I believe that not all people who receive certain breakthroughs in life are necessarily blessed, and yet all who are truly blessed breakthrough in all areas of their life, get it?

Ok, ok, let me try and break it down; I strongly believe that, the fact that a person has received a certain 'blessing' e.g. car, house, marriage, position of power, business, etc... doesn't necessarily mean that they are blessed. Otherwise the many unbelievers who work hard and achieve great material conquest should be considered as blessed as well.

I believe that the true blessing is the greatest miracle any human can ever experience, the nature of God in us. When we get born of God, the quality of our life changes. And this cannot be demonstrated only by the 'material or physical things' we conquer. It is the person we become. The person we are when things are going exactly the way we want them or when they flip and the rug is pulled right under our feet and things go to the extreme opposite.

The person you are behind your closed doors, when you seem to lack nothing, where is your heart? And also when you are hard pressed in every direction and it seems as if your world is crumbling down before your eyes, where is your heart, then? What if you face temptation? where then is your heart? What is the conviction your carry in your heart about yourself and about God? From where do you draw your strength? Does it bother you what people say or think about you, to the fact that it defines who you are?

When you can sincerely answer these questions, being as real as you can be with yourself, you will know what quality your life has.No one can tell another if they are born of God or not, but if you are, you know and you know as well if you are not. You can have all the power and 'blessings' that are visible to the outside world, but perhaps behind close doors you are weak, you have a very restless spirit, you cannot say no to your heart, you secretly hate and envy others, you have a hole in the middle of your chest and have no idea how to fill it...again I say God is real, and the throne of grace is waiting for all who humble themselves...nothing is impossible with God.

Never let your 'blessings' deceive you!!!!

Life does not owe us anything

And the sooner one realizes that, the better it will be for them. Unless you know who you are and what you want, you will never survive this world. This is nothing but a jungle, and it is by every means survival of the fittest. If you waiting for people around you to open doors for you, pat you at the back or even wish you well, my dear friend, you can start planning your funeral, coz the chances of that happening today are close to none.

So you have only yourself to demand from. Nobody owes you anything, not even God. He already did His part, gave His Only Son the Lord Jesus, to open every possible door to you. The sooner you truly find God, you will find yourself in Him and for you there will be no limits and no obstacles you cannot overcome. God is real, and He wants to partner with us. But is He real for you, because He is size of your faith...period....nothing more, nothing less...

Everybody claims to believe but the quality of your life will tell you if you truly believe or not...next post I will let you know my two cents worth of understanding of what quality of life means...watch this space!!!

My best friend Zanele

I have constantly been told that I'm a good friend, by those who are close to me. Someone they always depend on, always readily available to lend an ear, and to help in whatever way possible. As much as it is really nice to hear such words, I find it really hard to hear them, don't ask me why...just feels strange to hear people say that about me.

Such words do get me thinking though, making me take even extra care how I view myself. I am the best friend I will ever have. I can be available to everyone and be ready to help whoever, whenever, but do I take the same time for myself. I love people, I love investing in them. I value my friendships and all my relationships. But the most important relationship I will ever have is the one I have with me.

Hence, it is imperative that I invest in this relationship, that I have enough respect and love for Zanele to make sure she is well, in all areas of her life. That she has all the confidence, health, and wisdom she needs to take on this not so kind world. She depends on me to be loyal to our relationship enough to make all the necessary sacrifices for her to grow. My dear friends will come and go, but Zanele will always be here, so if I invest in her well, I can always trust her counsel, her ability to take good decisions and her audacity to dare to be different.

So yeah...I love people...most people love me back unconditionally, but I love me more, and as I continue to evolve the more I fall in love with Zanele, God's unique creature, fearfully and wonderfully made, who can do all things through Christ who gives her strength.

What does your best friend have to say about you!!!!

Not for any Tom, Dick and Harry!!

In my line of service I hear all the time the term ‘Making the difference’ , just how our service needs people who stand out, take initiatives, always ready to do not just more than expected, but are simply available to do something without waiting to be asked or pushed. And every time I hear about this concept, I’m inspired to do just that and am constantly trying to find ways to achieve this in my life. However, as glorious as this concept sounds, I have realized that not many people really do ‘make the difference’.

And guess what? I think I get why….It is because standing out is costly. Once you put yourself out there, you are exposed. Some people will totally get you, teach you, inspire you to do more, and even cheer for you, while others will unfortunately not get you at all, will judge every word you say and everything you do, hold on to all your mistakes, causing you to want to coil back to your shell and just blend in like the majority around you are doing.

In life we have a choice to be ourselves or to become our circumstances.

As long as I keep my motives pure, and am giving of myself to better the lives or others, it should not matter whether I’m understood or not, if I’m appreciated or not, if I’m ‘rewarded’ or not. My duty is to execute my duties with excellence and diligence. I am human so I am bound to make mistakes. Sometimes really bad mistakes, but that’s no train smash. I learn from them, I pick myself up and go ahead, and with that my skin will get thicker and thicker. So, every time you feel tempted to coil back because it seems really hard to be the difference, remember our eyes are at the forehead…which means if they are speaking about you, its because you are ahead of them…keep walking….don’t look back!!!!

Wish I was sorry to say this...

Picture this….I work at this organisation. I have this colleague, who for some reason unknown to me is hell bent on making my life difficult. She has nothing good to say about me, is always pointing out every mistake I make, even to the point of actually making up stories about me. This is a fact, the woman just doesn’t get me. It does not matter what I say or do…it is always misunderstood. I’m confused, frustrated and even angry at her for treating me this way. What now?

My attitude towards this person changes completely. I do not trust her, and I cannot wait for the day I will not have to deal with her, period. The catch with that is; bad attitude always shows. The next person always knows that you have that attitude towards them. They pick it up in your sighs, glances, body language, even if on the outside you seem to be submitting, but they can read you like a book. And sadly you have placed your life in their hands.

I have learnt that we give people power over our lives, by reacting to their bad antics against us. Interestingly enough, the Bible says, “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart,…” that to me speaks volumes coz it doesn’t specify under what circumstances does this happen. It is never what is done to me that matters, but what I do in return. If my storehouse is good, good will come out of it. I will not be remote controlled by people’s perception of me, or their unfortunate evil desire to see me fail.

Better make the choice to live my life in the hands of God, than to hand it over to men by my unwise reactions, because when I react to them, I play right into their hands. It’s a set up…they will push, push, and push your buttons, and if you snap; you will see yourself out of the organisation, not even knowing how did that happen. And all your reasons will mean nothing; coz you know what you are reaping is the fruit of your seed, your reactions towards that person, your frustration, in a nut shell, your lack of trust in God. The truth is, we have been advised to submit ourselves to God, resist the devil and he will flee from us. Kill your enemy with kindness, be the best at what you do, let your conscience be clear at all times.

The sooner will let God be God, the better our lives will be. No one is responsible for your having this or not having that, you are, and you alone. No one has the power to decide what happens in your life, but you. Because if the hand of God is upon you, what is men to try and impede Him from blessing you? So as I say, I really wish I was sorry to say to this, but if your life is not the way you wish it could be, stop accusing, complaining, and blaming others, because it is entirely your doing, just check your storehouse!!!!!!

Surviving or overcoming

So you have been experiencing this very hard, depressing, life draining and somewhat almost overwhelming problem in your life. This happens every now and then. Every time you tell yourself that you have overcome it, this is the last time you go through such pain, fear and confusion, only to find yourself in the same spot all over again…only with all the fears, doubts and pain multiplied and intensely.. So what is really going on? Doesn’t your faith work or is God not with you?...the list goes on of the questions that usually plague the mind at such moments.

Here is my two cents worth of understanding of the matter; it does not matter what happens to us, but how we react to every situation. If we always try to fix the symptoms but we are not real about the cause of the problem, we will always find ourselves fighting a loosing battle. It doesn’t help to just try and maintain the peace when deep inside you are secretly believing that this relationship is doomed or whatever your case maybe, you are harbouring thoughts and feelings of anger, resentment or doubts that are just waiting for the next disappointment and they will erupt to a volcano.

You can either survive a situation or completely overcome it. The key is revolt against that situation, but how do you revolt against something you do not know, or are not ready to be real about. Time to keep appearances is over. People are looking for real people to identify with, and learn from. We can never be the people we aspire to be until we are real about who we are now. You are what and who you are now, not what or who you would like to be. Look in the mirror and be real about what and who you see…that’s half a battle won against whatever it is you’ve been struggling with…like I said…my two cents worth of understanding…right there!!!!!

Nothing about you surprises Him!

The truth is before we were born God already knew us, before we were formed in our mother's wombs He already knew us. Yet knowing all about our shortcomings, mistakes, and even horrible sins, He still allowed us to be born. Not only be born but gave His Son, the Lord Jesus, on the cross for us, awarding us a privilege to partake in His Divine Nature.

Having said that then I dare to say nothing about you surprises Him...nothing at all. Nothing is beyond Him. Do not let your mistakes or shortcomings and the devil himself hold you back. Coz you know what according to His Words all those have no power over your life actually. The bottom line is...you are holding yourself back, by not receiving His Love. It is easier to wallow in your sin and to keep feeling yourself or even withdrawing to your corner, than to man up to your sin, be real about it and do something about it.

So we talking about New Year's resolutions, whatever those are, some of us need to snap out their pride and take God at His word. The Bible does not exaggerate. He is faithfulness itself, which means He stands by His word, whether you believe Him or not.Whatever it is you have done, he has prepared for it, do yourself a favor and just look in His words and trust Him. Beats me why would a God who sees it at all and knows it all, still want to be partner with me with everything that I am. There must be something about me that gives Him the confidence to do that, don't you think?


Listen to me,....NOTHING ABOUT YOU SURPRISES HIM...nothing at all!!!!!